Thursday, November 18, 2004

Chapter Twenty-three

The lobby was quiet when Jay stepped out of the lift. He stepped forward and looked around himself. There wasn’t even a sound coming from the direction of the gym, although Jay knew that it was open twenty-four hours a day. Next to the entrance to the gym were the double doors that led to the small shopping precinct that formed the bottom floor of the building, and then at the opposite end of the lobby were another sent of double doors that led out to a small security space where another set of doors controlled access to the street.

As Jay was staring at these, they suddenly opened, and a couple walked through them, into the lobby. With them, came a short wave of cold from the street. They were holding each other around the waist and laughing. Sharing opinions about something that had happened to them that evening. Jay moved aside and they both smiled at him and headed for the lift. Jay tightened the knot in his scarf and buttoned the last buttons of his coat to protect against the cold, and stepped towards the security space.

Walking outside after so long was quite a shock for Jay. He stepped out into a world full of harsh noises and sensations. The first of these, almost immediate, was the noise. The electric bubble cars themselves that sped past him now were not noisy themselves, but their drivers all seemed to be broadcasting music from inside their carbon fibre shells. The mixture of all different styles of music caused a babble of different codes and signals, instruments and singing voices that seemed to be trying to tell Jay something. Whatever it was, he couldn’t understand it. The other overwhelming sensation was the cold. He had become so used to the regulated temperature of the inside of his flat, that never changed, that the cold seemed to eat away at Jay’s face and penetrate the skin beneath the layers of his coat and clothes. He doubted that it was really cold, as there were people walking around outside without coats on, moving quickly up and down the street, disappearing into doorways of apartment blocks, or the bars with their gary video boards above the entrances advertising special offers and flashing up images of dancing girls and shouting out laughter and hard-to-believe claims.

Jay walked down the steps to the street level of the tunnel. He felt dwarved by the towers that surrounded him on one side, and the video walls that occupied the whole of the other side. He’d never thought about it before, but the fact that there were no buildings on part of the other side of the street meant that beyond the wall was the outside world. He walked down the street, in the direction of the restaurant, which was quite near. He would have to cross the traffic though, and he looked for a subway. He soon saw the entrance to the crossing, and started to descend the winding steps that took him below the surface of the road. At the bottom of the stairs, a door opened to allow him into the underground crossing. He was alone now, and felt slightly uneasy as the roar of the traffic above became gradually muffled. There was a stink of urine, and the walls of the subway crossing were covered with grafitti.

Jay walked for two minutes before he realised he was not alone. As he walked on, he became aware of the increasing pace of footsteps behind him.

591 words
15285 words

4 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Graham,

At least you're still getting up to write every morning.
This is a difficult time, I know. By this time last year I'd given up - and, as I've said before, I regret throwing in the towel so early.

Stompy.

11:26 AM  
Blogger blog-efl said...

Thanks Stompy - I was, but I haven't been doing that the last few days. I'm going to write now, sunday, and see how much I can get done, but it doesn't look as if I'll make the deadline now. Still, I'm going to keep going...

Thanks again for the encouragement. What happened to your own attempt? You could always pick up from where you left?

4:44 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Although the whole point of NaNoWriMo is to write a novel in a month, the idea is to get people writing with a goal to nudge them along. You've said you're aiming to be done by December 5th, well, that's a goal.

My attempt - well. I think the idea was sound, but I've lost sight of where I was going with it. It seemed clear at the time, but being under pressure helps make your choices for you. I've re-written the first two chapters as a writing excercise and I'm looking at chapter 3 again. I might take it up again in the future, but I've had a couple of nebulous ideas for short stories that come from what I've written so far.

2:39 PM  
Blogger blog-efl said...

You're right Stompy. It's a great initiative, and I'm excited that I've started writing again, even if it's killing me.

I'm glad you went back to what you had written. Good luck with the short stories too.

11:33 PM  

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