Sunday, October 31, 2004

Chapter One

Jay’s mother died during the night, while he was asleep. He didn’t mean to drop off, but he couldn’t help it. He was exhausted. He was still connected by video-phone to the private room in the hospice when it happened. The doctors had told him it might be that night, and they weren’t wrong. She had been in the hospice for the last three weeks, plugged into a variety of machines that monitored her, fed her, kept her alive. She hadn’t been able to speak to her son since she had been there, but Jay kept phoning and talking to her at night after work. Sometimes he would just sit and watch her. He had run up a large bill, and the doctors had told him that she probably wouldn’t understand his words, but he had done it anyway. There had seemed to be so many things they hadn’t been able to talk about. There just hadn’t been time in his schedule for much contact during these last five years. And now, time had finally run out for them.

It wasn’t until thirteen minutes after three in the morning that he was woken up. A nurse’s voice over the intercom finally roused him. Jay was sitting on a black metal chair facing the screen. He had specifically chosen that chair because it was, like most expensive designer chairs, uncomfortable, but he had still fallen asleep. It must have taken the nurse a while to get his attention, as his headset had come off and was lying on the arm of the chair. He didn’t know how long the nurse had been shouting “Mister Gee! Mister Gee!”. Maybe that was why he had been dreaming of his father, another Mister Gee, who he had hardly known in his lifetime. In his dream, he had seen his father through the video phone, standing at his mother’s bedside, smiling and reassuring him.
“Everythings gonna’ be alright little Mister Gee,” he had been saying, “Soon you’ll see. Soon you’ll see.”

The nurse told him the news and asked him who would be handling the arrangements. Soon after, he had hung up and collapsed on his bed. He woke up at noon the next day. It was Sunday, and the fake sunlight streamed in through his fake video wall, punctuated by the fake birdsong. Jay wondered if this even worked for anybody now. Did anyone actually believe that what they were experiencing was the old real-life nature anymore? And how did they feel about it, knowing that this was the nearest they were ever going to come to hearing real birds, and feeling real sunshine? His guess was that it depressed everybody else as much as it did Jay, but Jay kept programming it as his wake up call on Sundays because he didn’t want to ever forget that it was the way he should have been waking up. Even if it was artificial, it seemed to stand for something that he should try to hold onto. At least until it started making him sick. With that in mind, he turned to the control box by the wall and shouted the instruction to turn the effect off. The strip lights on the ceiling flickered on and he heard the sounds of the coffee maker and toaster starting up in the kitchenette next door.

He sat up and remembered that his mother was dead. Now there really was no one in his life. He had spent the last five years isolating himself from people, shunning new friendships and old relations, avoiding forming bonds with the people he worked with, and not returning calls from those old friends who bothered to look him up. The only person in his life he had bothered with had been his mother. And now that she was gone, he was truly alone. How did he feel about that? What exactly had changed?

Standing up, he paced out the dimensions of his small apartment. He stopped, suddenly aware of the absence of sound in the apartment, apart from the breakfast machines at work in the other room. He hadn’t switched on Channel News, that’s why. It was usually automatic, but he didn’t want to hear anybody else’s news today. Today he had enough without being told what was going on in the rest of the city; in the rest of the world. Today he would try to live without his information props, he thought. It would be a day for self-reflection, for deciding what came next.

This idea didn’t last long, however. It disappeared when the videophone buzzed for his attention.

769 words written
49,231 words to go

6 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Did you cheat and start early? ;-)

Not a bad start, and your synopsis makes this story sound interesting.

I see you've already succumbed to the trick of doubling words to pad out the count. Tut Tut, what are you going to do in a couple of weeks when things start getting tough?

But, and with all seriousness. Good luck with this. Just keep putting the words down and don't worry about what they are like - it will all come out in the edit.

http://www.stompy.org

2:32 PM  
Blogger blog-efl said...

Hi Stompy!And thanks for your kind words of encouragement. Although the post says October 31st, that's when I set up the blog, and actually I did write the first chapter on the first - hey! I want to play by the rules!

Did I repeat myself? I've been thinking all today that I don't like my beginning at all, that it could be much better. It also reads a bit like Leonard Cohen sounds. I know this may sound silly, especially after you've read the first chapter now, but my original idea was to make this a comic novel (I kid you not) - I guess, as you say, I'll just punch out the words as best I can and see what I end up with. You're right - if it does work out and I have something of substance, then it can be all sorted out in the edit.

Hey, I'm sorry youre not joining in the fun this year, but then I understand - trying to write a 50,000 novel in one month is kind of rough on someone's normal life (or at least I imagine it is, as this is my first go at this).

I admire you getting so far last year, especially as you were hand-writing it first. I also like your blog a lot. I'll be keeping an eye on it.

Thanks again

Graham

8:25 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Graham,
I hope the lack of any entries doesn't mean you've given up? The month is still young and you have lots of time to catch up.
When I said you'd repeated yourself it wasn't a criticism - doubling up on words is acceptable behavior in NaNo. Wordcount is what matters after all.
Something that is useful to do is to have more dialogue. This has three very good effects. Firstly, it pumps up your word count. Don't just say the nurse woke him, tell us what she said, what he said etc.
Secondly, it keeps the flow going and sounds more immediate to a reader, and when you come to pick up on your writing the next day you'll feel more engaged. If you don't know what's going on, just have your characters talk to each other.
Thirdly, and most importantly, is that it helps you develop your characters and then they can get on with the story. If your characters talk to each other, your subconcious will have them say things that you didn't expect. Believe me, this happens, and when it does, they go about doing their own things and you just have to write it down.
Anyway, sorry about the long post. Just wanted to get you going again. Don't worry about the beginning, don't worry about it not being a comedy, just write it down. My attempt started as urban fantasy, morphed into High Fantasy, and then went all magical realism on me. It doesn't matter.
Right, I'm gone.

11:35 AM  
Blogger blog-efl said...

Hey! Thankyou for the positive comments and advice - you're dead right. I haven't done any characterisation work at all, and that would help a lot. Plus, the idea of using dialogue is great too. I'm encouraged!

I hadn't given up. Not at all. I just ran out of time yesterday. I'll be back with a vengeance tonight, hoping to push my wordcount up to 2000+. That should be easy now, after your encouragement.

Dude, muchísimas gracias por animarme. Me gusta mucho como aranque 'En la cubitera' (http://halfdudehalfjesusnovel.blogspot.com/2004/11/dia-1-extracto.html). Y estás escribiendo la novela a mano. Increible! Pues, ánimo, y buena suerte. Volveré a tu blog para ver como va.

12:43 PM  
Blogger blog-efl said...

Hi Aaron. I'm not the NaNoBlogMo moderator. That's another Graham. He's doing far better than me at his own site:

http://nanograham.blogspot.com/

Go along there and see for yourself.

1:01 PM  
Blogger blog-efl said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

1:05 PM  

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